Rejection

I realized something that I do when I feel rejected by someone. I overly try and see things from their point of view. Which sounds like a wise and kind thing to do, but I realized most of the reason I’m doing it, is to avoid the sting of rejection and hurt feelings.

I got married 3 years ago and immediately got pregnant. Then the weirdest thing happened, a few of my really close friends and some family became distant, the very people I felt would be the most involved in my life and my baby daughters, became the ones I hardly knew or saw anymore. Nothing happened and there wasn’t any drama, there was just this sudden distance that seemed to come with my new stage of life. I obsessively thought of all the reasons they didn’t seem to want to be a part of my new family, and convinced myself that they were all having really difficult stages of life (which they were) but then last week my daughter was watching Frozen and Do you wanna build a snowman came on and I started weeping. I felt her pain! My feelings were crazy hurt, and I couldn’t explain them away anymore. I felt rejected by some of the people I loved the most and it hurt. Even if people have good reasons to be distant, it’s still disappointing and hurtful.

My childhood abuse made me feel so incredibly rejected not only by my abuser, (because he was my biological dad) but by anyone that would know this about me. I struggled to find my worth and my biggest fear was someone thinking I was less than because of my abuse. So much of my life I avoided vulnerable relationships, or being completely honest out of fear of rejection.

Then God perfectly placed this book Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst in my life and this quote struck me “God’s love isn’t based on me. It’s simply placed on me. And it’s the place from which I should live…loved.” People can and will let you down and I know I’ve let people down too, nobody is perfect, but God is! He will always love me and want me no matter what. So when my heart is hurting, I’m trying to remind myself to “live loved” because I am, and so are you!

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